I wanted to talk about how you can feel good about yourself, and put yourself first without feeling bad about it. I really understand this because I can feel that way, too. It’s a hard thing. I don’t know if it’s just for women that we have a tendency to feel that taking care of ourselves is selfish. There’s a sense of guilt that goes with it, so we don’t do it, and we don’t make it a priority. We don’t see the value enough in ourselves to do that. It can really feel a challenge at this time of year. We’ve chosen to do so many things for so many other people. We might be on Santa’s list, on his good list, but we’re not on our list.
The thing that can happen if we do that is we’ll wake up on Christmas morning and almost be too tired to really enjoy it. Then we’re not there. It’s like we’re watching kids open gifts or presents while our brain is thinking, “Do they like it? What am I doing with the wrapping? Do I have food ready for the Christmas meal? What other things should I be doing?” Because it’s all the doing that makes us feel better, apparently, or so we tell ourselves.
The thing is that if we really go way back to the very beginning, we realize we chose to be here – we chose to be here, to be born into this world because there’s a place for us. We have value. That was a conscious choice we made at the time to come to this world. Think about it. The first thing a baby does is it cries. It’s because that is the tool it has to talk about what it needs. The first thing we do when we come into this world is say, “Hey, I’m here. This is what I need,” and you cry, and people respond.
As we grow older and we learn about putting our hands in our mouth or our feet in our mouth, we’re taking care of ourselves. We cry when we need our diaper changed. We were saying who we were and that our needs were important, and that we needed to be taken care of. As we grow older, we learn the value of the word no. No, I don’t want that. We continue that, and somewhere along the line we forgot that it’s okay to say yes or no. Yes, that’s what I want. No, I don’t want that. We grow older thinking that the only way we can find value is by taking care of others.
The problem, again, that happens with that is you’re not bringing you to the story. You’re just only bringing part of yourself, not fully yourself. It’s that whole thing with the airplane and having your own mask on. You can’t help anybody else if you aren’t fully taken care of – if your mask isn’t on, if you don’t have a body that’s fully functioning. Think about it. If you’re tired, if you’re hungry, maybe you’re running late, your focus is lost. You’re not really, truly there to help other people because you’re just not present.
That’s, again, going back to babies and young children. They are in the moment. They are right there and experiencing life at that moment. Just showing up – you can’t do it if you’re tired, if you’re grumpy, if you’re miserable – so it’s really important. I think that we think that putting ourselves first, it’s just not the same as disregarding others. It’s like if I take this time for me, then I’m not taking care of somebody else. If we can switch our thinking on that and realize that as we take care of ourselves we are taking care of others, because we’re filling our bucket. This means there will be enough of you to share with others. I want people to know that it’s okay to take some time for yourself.
The other piece of that is when we think of self-care, we think of all these big grandiose things that we need to do – have a spa day or something like that. But it’s really just the small, little things that we can do – much like helping others, giving others a smile or a small gesture. That might be all they need to brighten their day. It’s the same thing for us. It’s paying attention to ourselves just as a little quick check-in. Let’s say like, how are you feeling? Oh, you know, I’m a little tired. Okay, what can we do? Maybe we just need a glass of water, or we just need to stretch a little bit. Go outside for five minutes and get a breath of fresh air.
That’s what it really is. It’s self-nurturing. It’s not just self-care. If we take that time to do that, it’s going to benefit ourselves, and then we can be really there and present for others. That’s the best present we can give, right, is ourselves, truly and fully ourselves there.
I really encourage you as we go into celebration mode … We have 10 days from today is the 25th of December, and that’s Christmas. For some people you’re in the middle of Hanukkah. There’s other celebrations that come in here. You may have family birthdays. I encourage you to take just a few minutes. Think of your day, the rituals and the practice of beginning your day. You wake up, do something to refresh yourself. Stretch. Do a quick workout. Eat something. Read a book. Meditate. Do something. Just take those moments.
I mention this also because I am taking applications – they end on the 31st of December – for a mastermind I’m starting. It’s called The Flow into Your Life Mastermind. If you’re at all interested in that, right now I’m just taking applications and I’ll review it, and then I’ll give you a call and we’ll talk about it. The link for this mastermind is http://www.feedingyourhealth.com/flow-mastermind. Take a look at the page. I have more information about it. If it feels right, fill out the application. That’s the biggest commitment in all of that. We’ll have a conversation and discuss it.
I hope you have a great day. If I don’t talk to you before, have a merry Christmas and just enjoy this moment. That’s okay. Anybody have any questions or any other comments or anything else they’d like to share?
All right, anytime that you feel this time of year is hard or a challenge, just breathe into that, see where that’s sitting in your body, and look at your calendar. All of these things that I’m talking about, these are things that we will be discussing in our mastermind. It’s strategy, scheduling, intention, mindfulness. Those are all the things I have in something I called the MISFITS system, and that’s what it is. It’s mindfulness, intention, strategy, flow, intuition, team, and schedule. I’m just here to support you in any way. Feel free to always reach out. Take care. Bye.